A Pickle Can Never Be a Cucumber Again

My wife and I have attended support meetings for families of substance abusers.  In one meeting, the leader told a story about a guy who loved growing cucumbers to turn them into pickles.  The leader used pickles as a metaphor for substance abusers.  "Once a cucumber becomes a pickle, it can never go back to being a cucumber."  The same is true for addicts.

Addicts at the beginning of their recovery often think they can get their addiction under control.  They know that sometimes they go too far, but they need to learn how to drink socially like other people do.  "I should be able to have a beer during the game.", is the thought.  "Everything in moderation."  The truth is, addicts can never use again.  An addict is a pickle.  They cannot be a cucumber again.

Does this mean I can never have one beer while watching the game, or a cocktail or joint after work to take the edge off, or a beer with the work team after a long day at work?  Yes.  Never again.

"I'm sure I can control it.  I can have a glass of wine with the family at Thanksgiving."  The problem is that you can; sometimes.  Not going on a bender one time makes the addict feel like they are not truly an addict or that they beat the addiction.  This makes them feel comfortable slipping back into old habits.  That leads to stronger cravings and weaker resistance to temptation.

Sure, you may be able to have one beer watching the game this week and not keep going.  Maybe next week that turns into one beer per quarter; still way less than what you used to do.  What happens when the quarterback throws four interceptions and they end up losing to the worst team in the league?  This could be the trigger that causes an addict to have a relapse.  

Addicts have an internal love affair with the substance they abuse.  They love the anticipation to use.  They love the feeling that using gives.   Feeding the craving in a small way leads to larger cravings.

What happens when work is more stressful than normal?  If one has been having a drink to take the edge off, an extra stressful day requires more drinks.  It's easier to deal with the temptations, triggers, and cravings that come from unusal circumstances if one has a record of sobriety.

No one who is dealing with an addiction wants to believe they have to give it up.  Diabetics do not want to stop eating bread and ice cream.  Gamblers do not want to stop buying the occasional lottery ticket.  Workaholics do not want to stop working after 40 hours or give up volunteering after work.

Someone once asked Ted Williams, who had 20/10 vision and was considered one of the best hitters in baseball history, why he did not swing at pitches just outside the strike zone.  After all, he could have gotten a few more hits if he swung at a pitch that was just a bit outside.  Ted said, "you have to draw the line somewhere."

There is no way for an addict to be a casual addict.  It's all or nothing.  A pickle is a pickle.  It can never be a cucumber again.