Father's Day 2022

Today is Father's Day.  My Dad died in 2001.  I still think about him from time to time, but not as much as I did that first year.  Been thinking more about him recently since my mother passed away in April.  It's not that I miss him, but more that I am comparing my struggles as a dad to what I put him through when I was a teenager.  How did he deal with me?  Were his methods the right ones?  Should I try to be more like him?

He was not a great dad (not bad either).  He did not spend much time with me growing up.  When he retired, he tried to get more involved, but it was a bit late.  I did not spend a ton of time with my kids either; more then my dad did with me, but probably not enough.  I wonder if that is part of the cause for the issues my kid's have.

I gave my parents a really hard time from age 14-19.  They did not really fight me and try to discipline me to do the right things or change my attitude.  Maybe they should have.  I tried to be tougher on my kids.  I think it helped overall but not completely.  Does discipline drive out folly or drive the child away?  It depends on the child.  Each kid responds differently to various stimuli.  The hard part is figuring out what works with each one.

Were my parents right to overlook the things I was doing?  They had to know or at least suspect, but they never confronted me.  I suppose they just prayed for me and hoped for the best.  Is that the right strategy?  Maybe that is the strategy for dealing with older teens.  Maybe all you can do is set a good example and hope the bad decisions they make are not so bad that they end up completely messing up their lives.

Is that what God does with us?  God gives us the law and has warnings and blessings in the Bible.  God has set up natural consequences for when we break the law.  Perhaps he also intervenes to give us a nudge in the right direction.  Is that how all things work together for good?

The father of the prodigal son in the Bible did not intervene.  He did not stop his son from going off to do terrible things.  Is that how God treats us?  Is that the father I should be?  Probably sometimes. 

Now, I have passed into the final level of adult-hood.  I stand alone as a man with no parents to answer to or criticize me or give me advice.  My parents are both gone now.  They cannot affect my life for good or bad anymore.  They cannot make up for mistakes of the past.  I, however, still have time.  I can still work to make the relationships with my kids better.  I can try to give them good examples and good advice.  I can point them to their heavenly father.  For me, it is not too late.  

I hope my kids see it the same way.