My family visits different churches once in a while. It seems that many churches today have a "greet each other" time during the service, usually right at the beginning. People are supposed to stand up and move around greeting people around them. The reason for this, I suspect, is to make people feel welcome. However, this practice only makes extroverted people feel welcome. It makes introverted people feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.
People who make the decision to have the greeting time tend to be people who enjoy being social. For them, having a greeting time is natural. It is just the right thing to do. Anyone who opposes the idea of greeting time is anti-social or unfriendly.
It is hard to argue with the idea of greeting each other publicly because we all want our church to feel friendly and welcoming. What could be more friendly than many complete strangers coming up to you, wanting to touch you and ask you personal questions? (Extroverts: this is sarcasm.)
According to a study done by the Myers-Briggs Organization in 1998, the ratio of extroverts to introverts is close to 50-50. (Of course, there are different levels of introversion ranging from hermits to people who can handle a work party once in a while.) This means that a good percentage of the members and visitors in a church service feels mildly to very uncomfortable with these formal greeting customs. The percentage is probably not 50% because many introverts avoid church services that have the "share the peace" practice. Introverts also avoid the entrance with the greeters and sit by themselves during the social time before meetings. It's not that introverts can't socialize. They choose not to--at least not to the extent that extroverts do.
What does this mean? Are churches that have greeters or "greet your neighbor" habits actually less friendly to introverts? Do introverts stop coming to church or pick a different church to avoid feeling uncomfortable? Should the extroverts care? Maybe introverts are not good Christians. Maybe God wants everyone to be outgoing and social.
Extroverts point out that Jesus was always seeking people out. The woman at the well is exhibit A. Jesus also spent a lot of time on his own in prayer. After he fed the 5,000, he immediately took off with his disciples--a very introvert-like thing to do. I am not saying that Jesus was an introvert, but there is "a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing" (Ecc. 3:5).
Now that the Coronavirus is making us stay home, we have an opportunity to gain a new perspective on all of this. Extroverts are wilting because of the lack of social interactions. Introverts on the other hand are right at home. My wife's co-worker remarked that "not having to 'share the peace' at church is a positive side-effect". She feels uncomfortable during this five minutes of forced cordiality. Not anymore. Introverts are worshiping with their families in their homes -- praying, singing hymns, enjoying the sermon -- just like they were in church. Except, no one is forcing them to talk or shake hands. Ahhhh....
It is time for the introverts to speak up. It is time for extroverts to realize that not everyone is like them. It is time to understand that we all should be allowed to exercise Christian fellowship in the way we feel comfortable. This does not mean that there should be no social interaction before, during, or after church. This interaction should be voluntary for both parties.
Extroverts. Please think about the other half of society. How can the church reach and serve them? How can we "become all things" to those who prefer less face-to-face interaction? Can we have a service where both extroverts and introverts feel comfortable worshiping their creator? I hope so.
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